The End Has Finally Come

Three months ago my squadron started a biggest loser contest. I decided what the heck why not try it, and for three months I kept with a steady diet and workout routine. Today was my final weigh in, and I was the first to do so....so now I wait 24hrs while everyone else comes to weigh in. I will not lie it is a little un-nerving, and I am anxious to see how I did against everyone else. So here are my stats:

Start weight: 164
End weight: 143
Pounds Lost: 21
Body fat percent lost: 12.8%

The first place prize is the pot which right now teeters to around $440.00
Second Place a WII Fit
Third a 96 hour special Liberty
Fourth a 72 hour special Liberty

As much as I would love to win and be the champ, I have to keep my goals real and know it is very probably that I may not win. However, I consider myself a winner at heart because not only is ALL of pregnancy weight gone but so is an additional 16 pounds. I feel great and accomplished. I stuck with this and it benefited me the entire time. At this point though all I can feel is fabulous!

So with all this being said here is my positive thought today as I looked in the Mirror: You have amazing legs, and strong determination. Your strong, and goal oriented. You are a winner today no matter the outcome of the contest! 

Fall, Winter and Life

Ok I am going to be honest here I live in Hawaii. It's not a bad or horrible life by any means. However, it has made me miss the fall and winter time. I miss season changes and everything. Funny enough I deployed to a site also where the weather never changes. Please do not take this as my complaining, but man nothing beats the autumn breeze and the smell of winter fires.

I consider myself very lucky for the life that I live. I have been to amazing places and seen beautiful countries. However, I always find myself missing winter time. I have a hard time feeling like it is Christmas when it is 70 degrees outside. It is one of the reasons why I can not wait to transfer to my new duty station next summer. To show my son all the season, build snowmen, and play in the fall leaves. To have him expierence his first snowball fight and snow fort. To walk around and see Christmas lights and drink hot cocoa.

I believe I love the fall and winter time so much because of the holidays. It has such a essence of family that comes with it. Reading stories while sipping hot apple spider, seeing all the Halloween, Thankgsiving, and Christmas decorations everyone puts up. To spend more time as a family. Maybe for me it is also bittersweet ending to this last year of not having my family whole. Right now I am missing alot of this, and this is probably leading towards my pull of the seasons. When I get home for the first time in a year we will be a whole in our family and experience holidays missed.

My love for my family has been tested this last year, and I think it has passed every test. My main goal at this moment is to just make it back home to my boys. To concentrate on brining my family back whole, and to overcome my homecoming obstacles. I look forward to coming off that plane and just be in my husbands arms and hold my little boy. They are the sole reason for my strength and pushing through with this deployment.

After expierencing both sides of being home and being away...I have to say that there is no winner in the who has it harder game. It is hard for both sides, and the stressors are different in each area.For those that think your loved ones back home have it easy think again. That goes vice versa, because neither position is easy to deal with. The important thing is to just remember your love and faith. To believe in yourself even when others do not believe in you. To push through all the hardships and ultimately prove you can handle it.

A  good friend once told me "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." This has been something to stick with me during my deployment. Something that I took to heart, and some of the best advice I have also recieved.

From Yuck to Yum!

At one point this year I was a single mom while my husband was deployed. For six months I lived that role. Not only did I live the role of the single mom, but it was the role of the single working mom. My life was very busy, and on the go. As much as I hate to say it I found the temptation to just grab food for my child at McDonald's so easy. In fact I really had to talk myself out of it each day I thought about it. Ultimately I continued to choose my childs health each day.

There is nothing good about all that beige fast food. If there is a healthy option is equally right next or paired to an unhealthy option. Then I started thinking like my parents did when I was young. No other options...if I do not give other options for my child to eat dinner, then he will ultimately choose to eat what I make or at least try it. So it became my goal to always have a healthy snack and well balanced dinner ready for him. He eventually got to the point where he would ask for fruits as a snack. His dad also followed my lead after I left for deployment. Making sure he ate healthy and was not consuming junk. Then Phil introduced our child to Ovaltine...and Johnny loved it. So now that his one of his favorite requests is for Ovaltine, because he does not get normal chocolate milk.

Now I am sure some of you are reading this thinking what the hell Danielle he is not even 3! However, this is how I feel. If you want your child to have a healthy diet you need to start from day one, and not make excuses. Jonathan's health is my number one priority. He is the reason why I started being healthier and I plan on seeing it through. I am in love with the fact that my child would rather have fruit than cookies (although he gets those when he is good).

Here are some alarming facts:

1 out of 3 kids now considered overweight or obese.
Many kids are spending less time exercising and more time in front of the TV, computer, or video-game console.
One third of all children born in 2000 or later will suffer from diabetes at some point in their lives.

Sites:
http://www.letsmove.gov/learnthefacts.php
http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/obesity/l/aa012503a.htm
http://kidshealth.org/parent/general/body/overweight_obesity.html

The worst part about all of this....it is 100% preventable with a little effort. So I have taken the time to share some of the healthy snacks and dinner I made for Johnny.

Snacks:

Fruit Bowl:
Diced Apples,Pears, Peaches, Bananas and Grapes. (and any other fruit you want to add)
Arrange the fruits on a plate around a small bowl of plain, or flavored yogurt to dip. You can also use peanut butter.

Bean and Cheese Quesadillas:

1 TBS of Olive OIl
1Pkg (10 Count) Whole Wheat Tortillas
1 Can (15oz) Of Black Beans Drained and lightly mashed
1 small finely chopped onion
8 oz shredded reduced fat cheese of coice
1/2 Cup of Cilantro leaves
1/2 Cup of Low Sodium Salsa (or home made salsa yum!)
1/2 small green,orange,yellow, or red pepper of choice. ( I like Yellow and Orange because they are typically sweeter)
Option: Add left over grilled chicken or make some chicken for it. You can also add 1/2 teaspoon of chili powder.

Heat the oil in a large non stick pan over medium heat add the onion and peppers. Cook for approx. 4-5 minutes.Stir in Beans and Salsa ( if you choose to add the chicken and/or chili powder do it here.). Cook for Approx 3mins stirring occasionally. Once made set aside.

Either clean that pan or grab another non stick pan. Spary skillet with cooking spray. Place the pan over medium high heat. Place one tortilla in the skillet and cook for 1 minute. Spread 1/3 cup of the bean mixture and 1/3 cup of the cheese evenly over the tortilla. Sprinkle some of the cilantro over the top. Place another tortilla on top and cook 1 minute. Press gently with a spatula and turn. Cook for 1 minute or until browned.

Place quesadilla on a baking sheet and keep warm in 200° oven. Repeat with the remaining ingredients to make four additional quesadillas. Allow skillet to cool slightly if it becomes too hot.

To serve, cut each quesadilla into quarters.
-Recipe Curtosey of Parents.com I altered it slightly to my liking and taste preferences.

Confetti Yogurt Pops:

  2  cupslow-fat vanilla yogurt

  1  cupassorted berries (raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, chopped strawberries)

  5  pretzel rods, halved, or 10 baked snack stick crackers

Directions 1. In a large bowl gently stir together the yogurt and fruit. Spoon into 4-ounce ice-pop molds or 3-ounce paper cups. Cover molds or cups with foil; use a sharp knife to cut a small hole in the foil and insert cut side of pretzel rod or snack stick. Freeze until firm. Remove foil and mold or cup before serving.
2. Store for up to a month. Makes 6 pops and are only 67 calories!

-Recipe Curtosey of Parents.com

Yogurt Smoothies:

1 Cup of Plain or Vanilla Yogurt
1/2 Cup of Natural fruit juice of choice
1/2 Cup of Blue Berries
1/2 Cup of Strawberries
1/2 Cup of Rasberries
2 Cups of Ice

Blend and then drink! Best part is that this is an absolute easy and fast breakfast or snack when you are on the go. It can be altered however you want it. I prefer this because it is an antioxidant.

However you can add whatever fruits you want in it like bananas, kiwi's, and black berries. The more colorful the fruit the more antioxidents that are in it.

Meals:

Spagehtti and Meatballs:

Jenni-o Turkey Meatballs
1 pkg Wheat Spagehtti Pasta
1 Can Ragu Garden Veggie Spagehtti Sauce

You make this as you would normal spagehtti. You can doctor the sauce how you see fit. I usually add about 1TBS of sugar and Red wine into the Mix.

Chicken and Rice:

1pkg of Chicken Breasts (skin removed)
Enough Brown Rice for your family
1 Cup of shredded lowfat cheddar cheese
Sea Salt
Coarse Black Pepper
Rose Mary
1/4 Cup of White Wine
1/4 Cup of Chicken Broth
Asparagus

Cook the brown rice. Keep in mind that the amount you make will be served off to the side and wrapped in the chicken breasts.

Preheat oven to 350F

Mix your white cooking wine and chicken broth together and set aside.

Butterfly your chicken breasts. On the outside and inside of your chicken season it with black pepper, sea salt, and rosemary. Spoon in the cooked rice and sprink about 1/4 of your cheese on the rice. Wrap the Chicken breast up and then tie with cooking tie. Repeats this with the remaining chicken. Place your chicken in a shallow casserole dish and poor the white wine and chicken broth over the chicken. Cover with tin foil Bake Approx. 40 mins and then uncover for a remaining 5-10mins. Make sure that the juices are running clear for your chicken.

These are just a couple of recipes. Simple changes such as adding more color on your plate (meaning more veggies and fruit) can make a world of difference.  Just small changes can jump start a whole new life.
For example that Spagehtti was actually my husband...he has been trying very hard to keep with making healthy meals for our son. Funny enough our son LOVES this spagehtti. Even sick he will eat this. If you think your going to be busy and not have time to make dinner why not make a roast? You just toss it in the crock pot and let it go.

Through The Looking Glass

10 lbs there, fat, stretch marks, imperfection, ....still fat. That is my looking glass to me still, and why? I am at the smallest I have been in years, and yet I still felt prettier at 15lbs heavier right before I found out I was pregnant.

My body is more toned and skinnier now than it has been in 3 years, and all I still see are perfections. Every morning I wake up and look at myself in the mirror in disgust. It's ludicrious! I mentally know I am prettier, and feel healthier. I asked my husband his opinion about it this morning, and his answer was complete honesty. I feel this way cause of my belly...and I have to learn to let that go. I had a baby and I have to get over the fact that my tummy will not be as tight as it use to be. My looking glass....or so it use to be.....

I went to the store today and I was just walking around thinking about everything. I walked straight past a full length mirror and stopped and stared at it. I honestly wanted a dry erase marker at that point. I wanted to cirlce the great things about myself. I wanted to write what I felt good about. Healthier, no more double chin, fits back into all my old clothes, happier, less self concious, good person, loving mother, loving wife, and finally always there for my friends.

What I realized is that I was so hell bent on that one part of my body that I refused to see the better parts. I refused to actually see myself as skinny. From now on when I wake up in the morning, even when I feel my absolute worst to walk over to my mirror close my eyes, and when I open them to think of only positives aspects of what I see. No more will I focus on the negative, because it gets me no where except for feeling bad about myself.  I believe everyone should do this...to take the time to look at yourself through the mirror and be positive. Forget the negatives, and just focus on the positives. Only then will you be able to truly focus on the good in your life, when you can destroy the bad feelings toward yourself. That is my goal no more feeling bad about myself. I am a strong woman, mother, daughter, wife, and friend.

With Tired Minds, and Tired Souls

Abraham Lincoln once said "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.  It's the life in your years. "

I am sitting at my desk right now, and thinking of the last 24 hours. What had started into such a great day took a horrible turn into an awful day.  I was given the news that one of my friends had passed away. As my husband told me this I could not think of anything to say or do. I sat there quietly and felt nothing. Not because I did not care about her, but because I was in such disbelief. She was younger than me, with two children, and a loving husband.  Everything started going through my mind, and then ultimately the feeling of invincibility just floated off of me.  The reality or mortality hit hard. Then all the what if's hit me. What if it had been me, what if it had been Phil, what if, what if, what if. I had to stop myself with it, because the ultimate reality of it all is that she is gone and it was not me, phil or anyone else I knew.

I began to remember being a child, and having no fears. That nothing could hurt you ...(except maybe the switch you were about recieve via pissed off parent). That life was endless, and we were invincible. Sometimes those feelings come back as adults and you become fearless for a short while. I had not had those feelings in a while, but I wish I could have them now. It is not the fear of my mortality that scares me, but leaving the ones I love behind.  To know that my son and husband would carry on with out me. To know my son would no longer have his mother....

When I went to bed last night all I wanted was to be back home. I just wanted to be off this deployment, and be held by my family. I wanted that comfort from them so much. Instead it was in my small bed, in the barracks that I slept. I do not think I have wanted to be home more now than ever. To just hug and kiss my little boy, and to hug and kiss my husband. To know that for now it was not our times to leave. I know it will come eventually but I really want to be there for both my boys. I want to grow old with my husband and see my son get married and have his own child. I pray that this will happen, but I know it may not be what is in my destiny. For now though....I want to enjoy my family as much as possible. All I want is to be home right now. I want to take every moment I can to be with the ones that I love.

I want everyday that I am still alive to count for something. I do not want to waste my days on regrets.  There are 352 days in a year...only 52 weeks. That is not long at all when you think big picture. So until I get off this deployment and back into the arms of the ones I love I will make them count.

My heart deeply goes out for her family and everything they are going through right now. She was a great person, and so funny. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Amanda Kennedy is was great to get know you, and you will be missed dearly.

Finding Myself

"Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busy work. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!" ~ Og Mandino

This last year has brought many changes to my life. Changes I want to keep with me, and bring to my family. Changes in attitude, nutrition, work, and my family life. Everyday I feel like I learn something new about myself. How I want to be...scratch that who I want to be. I am 26 years old and I am still figuring myself out. I am still realizing my potential. Potential I wish I would have known about when I was in high school. I never realized how strong I could be, and how much I would have to overcome.

I believe Mary Schmich had it right back in 1997 when she wrote the column "Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted On The Young" for the Chicago Tribune. However, most of my generation knows it as the Sunscreen Song performed by Baz Lurhman. However, one of the quotes that stuck with me the most was "Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young." Yes I am only 26, but I refuse to keep letting my nomadic lifestyle seperate me from those that knew me. I have had so many great friends...all of which played a role in my life that lead me to where I am today. Most of my friends are my family to me at this point, and I am lucky to have a pretty extensive family. They have been the ones to help when I am on deployments or dets, when I am away from those that I love. Some of which have been in my life day in and day out for the past 6 years. Others I have known since the 5th grade, and lost touch with. However I am trying to retie those bonds.

It was easy to be selfish in the past. That was exactly how I was...I was so selfish. I can not be like that anymore. I wont be like that anymore. My life  stopped being about just me years ago and there have been times where I tried to make it about just me. It's not though, and I have a bigger grasp of that situation now. 

My family, and friends...they are my inspiration to want to be a better person. They inspire me to be strong, and passionate about the obstacles thrown in my path. With them by my side I feel like there is nothing I can not do or face. I have an incredible life, but it has not been without hard decisions. Every choice I made whether it is good or bad I will have to live with. The only thing I can do is learn to forgive myself, learn from, and then let go of the bad choices I have made. I have a trend of holding on to the bad things so long, and its a heavy feeling on me. I do not want those feelings anymore, and I refuse to be weighed down by the choices I made in my youth.

My life has been a wild rollercoaster ride, and it probably will still be that way. That does not mean it has been a bad roller coaster ride just a loopy one. I am coming to realize though that it's ok, and that everything will be ok. My inner strength comes from wanting to be there for everyone, but I cant be there for them unless I can be there mentally for me. It's so easy to push everything going on in my life to the back of my mind. I am realizing more and more though by doing that I never dealt with what is going on with me. I never dealt with my issues and I unitentionally caused myself to be held back. Once I started dealing with everything though and started talking with my friends and letting them be there for me I was able to let go. I was able to work on me, and my issues. Which directly resulted in me being a stronger person both mentally and physically. I find myself pushing harder and harder. Whether its to get back in shape, be a better parent, or be better at my job.

I have taken the negative out of my life, I am letting go of those that are negative in my life. I do not need to have their negative energy to feed on mine. I have postive friends, and postive lifestyle. I want to keep that and I will fight like hell to keep it. I want to get rid of the negative feelings and energy. I do not want it to have any control on my life. I want Johnny to have postivity in his life...I want him to look at me and be inspired to be his best. That's what I want out of my life...to be the very best person I can be and for my son to want that same drive and motivation.

It does not get any better than this. He is my inspiration to be a better person.

A Healthier Life A Healthier Me

Over the last year I have been making drastic changes to my diet and workouts. All of which have paid off. Since everything has been working so well for I have been having people ask me what I am doing. It's very simple actually...I made a decision and stuck with it. My decision was that I wanted to be healthy for myself, my family, and friends. To do that it meant that I would have to make changes. Changes that involved kicking caffeine addictions, eating junk, and ultimately a lazy behavior pattern.

One year ago my friend Jessica introduced me to Insanity. It was great and the results started showing within the first week. My fat kid cellulite was leaving and my legs were showing the first sign of changes. I was sucked in instantly afterall I was already showing results so fast, so why not engulf myself into it. Well here was where I already messed up. First off although I was showing signs of change already I was not changing my eating habits. So my results were going nowhere near as fast as they could have been. Granted over the last year I have lost 44lbs, and I love every minute of it. Do not get me wrong about that. However, it sure would have been great if I would have focused so much more on being healthier overall.

It was right around the Feburary time frame where I realized that to loose more weight I was going have to change more than just my workout routine. So I started making slow changes at first. Nothing drastic because all drastic was going to do is cause me to relapse back into my un-healthy ways. So I started with bringing more healthy snacks with me to work, and leaving my credit card at home to avoid the geedunk. Then I started substituing butter for olive oil, baking or grilling instead of frying, and I started walking more with my friends at night strollering my rugrat up what I would like to call the hill of death. I tried to go walking everynight with my friends on top of working out, to add a little more boost into my workouts.

With these slow changes my body had started to really respond favorably, and I was loving it. From there I continued to explore other alternatives...such as getting fresh vegetables instead of canned ones. I started slowly intergrating organic foods into my diet. I took my soda consumption from 2-3 cans a day to 1 can about once every 3 days. I am now drinking black coffee for my caffeine needs, and enjoying a relaxing cup of hibiscus tea to avoid getting bored with just water.

None of these changes were simple or overnight. They are slow processes that I took steps too. During all of this I have never felt better about myself. I feel confident, energetic, and happier all the way around. To make things even better my husband has come on board with my health craze and is adjusting himself to the same changes. I could not be happier to have an amazing husband that is being supportive of me and my life changes. What is even better is that I feel like I am setting my son up for a healthier and happier life. I love the fact that to my son a treat is blueberries, and bananas...not chips, soda, or candy. I feel like this is why he hardly ever gets sick, because we maintain a strict and healthy diet for him.

So this is how I have lost my weight in a nutshell. Small changes, amazing support from my family and friends, and most of all being surrounded by those that want the same out of life that I do. To be healthy and in shape.

So if I have not said it enough to you yet thank you Jess and Kim for being my workout buddies and support while my husband was away. Thank you Phillip for supporting all these changes. Thank you to my sister, dad, mother, and my aunts for being my long distance cheerleaders and advice givers. Thank you to my co-workers that have told me to keep it up and continuing looking hot...you know who you are! Finally thank you Johnny for creating my desire to be a better role model, and supporter for you. I truly am blessed for everyone that I have in my life. Even if some of you are long distance...it all means so much to me. Without all these components I do not think I could have done so well. So once again THANK YOU!