Things no one told me about having children

Alright there would have been things that I would have LOVED to known about having little kids. So since I was never told this I will share it so someone else will be prepared.

1. Yes babies have projectile poop. By projectile poop I really do mean it can shoot across the changing table and hit the wall. Wish I would have known that before I hung a picture there.

2. They have a sense of humor from day one. I swear for the first week it was like a game for my son to see if he could pee on me. I did everything from having a warm wash cloth over his little guy parts, to keeping him in a warm area to change him...NOTHING worked he was bound and determined to pee on me. Once he did he never tried again...I was marked as mommy from then on.

3. Be prepared to have either spit up or puke to land in or around your mouth....

4. They feed off of your energy. If your in a great mood your baby will be happy. They have their own little kid ESP.

5. They are your biggest motivators and self esteem boost. My son consistently makes me feel like I am the funniest person alive (this is far from true). He has also inspired me to want to live a healthier life and be a better person.

6. All they want to do is everything you do! My son learned from watching a good friend of mine to sweep and wipe down counters. At 2 1/2 I think I have one of the most OCD cleaning child ever.

7. If you don't cater to your eating to theirs they will eat what you eat. It's just a matter of will power to see who caves first.

8. The best wake-ups in the morning involve getting sloppy toddler kisses and hugs followed with wake up mommy.

9. Their ability to learn is so fast. At 9 months my child was sitting in a chair and eating at a table at school. At 18 months he was washing his hands, sitting at the table, learning to to scoop his food, put his dirty dishes in the sink, wash his hands after and grab his cot for nap time. At 2 1/2 years he is learning to wipe down the table after dinner and then go sit on the couch and wait until daddy is done mopping.

10. Not listening to people that said I should have used a pacifer to help soothe him was awesome. I never had to deal with taking that stupid thing away!

11. It's ok to get advice from other parents but ultimately your going to do things your way.

12. I never felt true true love until the first time I held my son.

13. They will continue to surprise you every single day.

14. The reason why most people have pictures of their kids sleeping....half the time that is the only time they can get them to hold still.

15. Your child is just like you...if you never took alot of BS from people neither will they. Case and point... The tooka bean was at school trying to go down the slide. A little kid kicked him 2 times when he tried to go up the the playset to get to the slide. The third time little bean moved out of the way and grabbed the other kids leg and jerked him off the playset. While the little kid was on the ground crying the little bean was going up and down the slide having fun.

Ok so some of these things you may have already known or do not care about. However these were things that I either learned or never really thought about. Take it for what it's worth.