Fall, Winter and Life

Ok I am going to be honest here I live in Hawaii. It's not a bad or horrible life by any means. However, it has made me miss the fall and winter time. I miss season changes and everything. Funny enough I deployed to a site also where the weather never changes. Please do not take this as my complaining, but man nothing beats the autumn breeze and the smell of winter fires.

I consider myself very lucky for the life that I live. I have been to amazing places and seen beautiful countries. However, I always find myself missing winter time. I have a hard time feeling like it is Christmas when it is 70 degrees outside. It is one of the reasons why I can not wait to transfer to my new duty station next summer. To show my son all the season, build snowmen, and play in the fall leaves. To have him expierence his first snowball fight and snow fort. To walk around and see Christmas lights and drink hot cocoa.

I believe I love the fall and winter time so much because of the holidays. It has such a essence of family that comes with it. Reading stories while sipping hot apple spider, seeing all the Halloween, Thankgsiving, and Christmas decorations everyone puts up. To spend more time as a family. Maybe for me it is also bittersweet ending to this last year of not having my family whole. Right now I am missing alot of this, and this is probably leading towards my pull of the seasons. When I get home for the first time in a year we will be a whole in our family and experience holidays missed.

My love for my family has been tested this last year, and I think it has passed every test. My main goal at this moment is to just make it back home to my boys. To concentrate on brining my family back whole, and to overcome my homecoming obstacles. I look forward to coming off that plane and just be in my husbands arms and hold my little boy. They are the sole reason for my strength and pushing through with this deployment.

After expierencing both sides of being home and being away...I have to say that there is no winner in the who has it harder game. It is hard for both sides, and the stressors are different in each area.For those that think your loved ones back home have it easy think again. That goes vice versa, because neither position is easy to deal with. The important thing is to just remember your love and faith. To believe in yourself even when others do not believe in you. To push through all the hardships and ultimately prove you can handle it.

A  good friend once told me "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." This has been something to stick with me during my deployment. Something that I took to heart, and some of the best advice I have also recieved.