Through The Looking Glass

10 lbs there, fat, stretch marks, imperfection, ....still fat. That is my looking glass to me still, and why? I am at the smallest I have been in years, and yet I still felt prettier at 15lbs heavier right before I found out I was pregnant.

My body is more toned and skinnier now than it has been in 3 years, and all I still see are perfections. Every morning I wake up and look at myself in the mirror in disgust. It's ludicrious! I mentally know I am prettier, and feel healthier. I asked my husband his opinion about it this morning, and his answer was complete honesty. I feel this way cause of my belly...and I have to learn to let that go. I had a baby and I have to get over the fact that my tummy will not be as tight as it use to be. My looking glass....or so it use to be.....

I went to the store today and I was just walking around thinking about everything. I walked straight past a full length mirror and stopped and stared at it. I honestly wanted a dry erase marker at that point. I wanted to cirlce the great things about myself. I wanted to write what I felt good about. Healthier, no more double chin, fits back into all my old clothes, happier, less self concious, good person, loving mother, loving wife, and finally always there for my friends.

What I realized is that I was so hell bent on that one part of my body that I refused to see the better parts. I refused to actually see myself as skinny. From now on when I wake up in the morning, even when I feel my absolute worst to walk over to my mirror close my eyes, and when I open them to think of only positives aspects of what I see. No more will I focus on the negative, because it gets me no where except for feeling bad about myself.  I believe everyone should do this...to take the time to look at yourself through the mirror and be positive. Forget the negatives, and just focus on the positives. Only then will you be able to truly focus on the good in your life, when you can destroy the bad feelings toward yourself. That is my goal no more feeling bad about myself. I am a strong woman, mother, daughter, wife, and friend.